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Custody
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[Esta página está en español;
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 This section tells you about:
- How to reduce custody-related conflict between
parents
- How the court gets involved in custody and
visitation
- Types of custody
- How to get or change a court order for custody or
visitation
- How to fill out your court forms
- When and how to use an Order To Show Cause
If you would like to see information about a particular case or find
out about a hearing date,
click here to visit
our public access Case Info website. However, you will not be able to look up
information about certain cases that are confidential, including cases
involving custody petitions for parents who have not married.
- How to reduce custody-related conflict between parents
Remember: The way you and the other parent act affects your
children. Here are some tips on how to talk to each other:
- Be polite, just like you would be at work. Do not use bad language
or call each other names.
- Stay on the subject. Don’t talk about other issues.
- Focus on doing what is best for your child.
- Control your emotions, just like you would do at work. If you
can’t stay in control, agree to talk at another time.
- Be clear and specific when you talk to the other parent. Write
things down and keep businesslike records of your agreements and
appointments. Do not change plans without first discussing the change
with the other parent.
- To be sure each parent has the same information, write down what
you have talked about and send a copy to the other parent.
- Keep your promises. Your children need to be able to trust and
rely on you. This is very important right now.
- Do not talk about
custody problems if one of you is under the influence of alcohol or
other drugs.
- Do not talk about custody if the children are around.
- When you pick up or drop off the children to the other parent, say
only "hello" and "good-bye".
- Do not send messages to the other parent with your child.
- Try to talk to teachers, doctors, or other involved professionals
together. This can help resolve differences of opinion about what is
best for your children.
- If the child is with you, you are responsible for the child’s
daily care. But, do not make any important changes in the child's
educational or medical care without first discussing it with the other
parent.
- Above all, try to work with the other parent for the good of your
children. Do this for your children's happiness and success in life.
They will feel more comfortable and secure and know that you both
cared enough about them to make their life free of conflict.
- How the court gets involved in custody and
visitation
California law says that Judges must keep the “best interest” of
your children in mind when deciding on custody. California laws have
changed a lot in the last few years. Courts no longer automatically give
custody to the mother instead of the father, even if your children are
young. Courts cannot deny your right to custody or
visitation just because you were never married to the other parent,
or because you or the other parent has a physical disability, or a
different, or minority lifestyle, religious belief or sexual preference.
In most cases, parents can make their own
agreements for custody and
visitation. If you and the other parent agree on custody, the judge will
probably approve your
agreement. If you cannot agree, the judge will send you to
mediation and a mediator will help you. If you still cannot agree, you
and the other parent will meet with the Judge to discuss your
case again.
This is called a Judicial Custody Conference (JCC). If you still do not
agree, you will be ordered to go through an
 in-depth process called an
Assessment. After the Assessment, the judge will decide your custody and
visitation schedule.
Remember: the best plan is a plan that is good for your children. Change
is hard for children. Research tells us that if both parents are active
in their kids’ lives and do not fight over custody and visitation
schedules, the children will usually do much better. top of page
↑
- Types of custody
There are 2 kinds of custody: legal and physical.
Legal custody
Legal custody means who makes the decisions about the children’s health,
education and welfare. This includes deciding where the children go to
school or whether they should get braces on their teeth. If the parents
share joint legal custody, both parents can ask schools and doctors for
information about the children. It is important to be clear about who
makes which decisions so that there is no disagreement later on.
Physical custody
Physical custody refers to the time the children spend with each parent
on a regular basis. For example, the children may be with one parent on
school days and the other on weekends plus a mid-week dinner visit. The
parents can split the holidays and vacation periods.
Sometimes, if the parents live near each other and they get along as
parents, the children go back and forth without an exact schedule. Most
parents need a schedule.
Joint physical custody is a good choice for parents who can agree on a
plan on their own or with a mediator’s help. It requires cooperation,
flexibility and good communication between the parents.
Sometimes, a judge gives both parents joint legal custody, but not joint
physical custody. This means both parents have equal responsibility for
important decisions in the children’s lives. But, the children live with
one parent most of the time. The parent who does not have physical
custody usually has scheduled time with the children.
Parents should talk to a lawyer about physical and legal custody before
making a final agreement.
- How to get or change a court order for custody
or visitation
To get or change a court order for custody or visitation, you must
file forms at the Clerk’s Office. The forms you need depend on your
situation.
If you:
- Are married to the other parent:
File a
divorce or legal separation
or a Petition for Custody and Support of Minor Children
- Are not married to the other parent:
File a
parentage action
- Are not the biological parent and there is no
existing
Family Court
file about the children:
Talk to a lawyer. You may be able to file to start a
guardianship case with the Probate Court
- Are not a biological parent and there is a
Family Court file for the Family:
See a lawyer or the Self-Help Center to see if you can join into
that action. If there is no Family Court file, you may have to file to
start a Guardianship case. See the Probate section of this website for
information on Action for Guardianship.
- Have an existing Department of Child Support Services (DCSS) case and
paternity is established for the child(ren):
See a lawyer or Family Law Facilitator or
Self-Help Center to start a
parentage case to ask for custody and visitation orders or to see if
you can file in the DCSS case.
Have an existing case, file papers to ask the court to change (or
modify) court orders. It does not matter how old your case is.
- Are filing to ask for a
Restraining Order to protect you from
domestic violence, you can also ask for custody and visitation orders.
You cannot file to change orders in a restraining order case unless
you filed the restraining order papers in a case to establish
parentage or divorce/legal separation.
The law says parents who do not agree on custody or visitation MUST
go to mediation. Call Family Court Services
to schedule Parent Orientation and Mediation. top of page
↑
- How to fill out your court forms
 Get
help filing out forms!
Click here to find out about "EZ Legal File" - an
online interactive (question/answer) free form generator for
Family Law forms.
If you are filing a divorce or paternity action, you can:
- When and how to use an Order To Show Cause:
This section tells you about:
What is and when to use an Order to Show Cause (OSC)
If you have an existing case or are ready to file a divorce/legal
separation or parentage case, you can start by filing an Order to Show
Cause asking for the custody or visitation orders you want. These forms
are in addition to the forms you need to start your divorce/legal
separation or parentage case.
An Order to Show Cause is a court order
that tells the other parent (party)
to come to court.
You can file at any time during your case -- even after your divorce is
final. You can use an Order to Show Cause to ask the Court:
- For your first custody or visitation orders
- To change the custody or visitation orders you
have now
- To tell the other parent to contact Family Court
Services to go to Parent Orientation and Mediation
- For emergency custody or visitation orders (or
to change the orders you have now because of an emergency
situation)
If you want to file the Order to Show Cause yourself, read the
information on Forms below.
top of page
↑
Forms you will need:
If you are the one filing the Order To Show Cause, you are the "moving
party." Fill out these forms:
If you need emergency custody, visitation or restraining orders, also
file:
You also need this form to give to the other parent:
- Responsive Declaration (Form
FL-320) (leave blank for the other parent to fill out)
You can download all the forms you need to file an Order to Show
Cause for free. Just use the links in this section. For help go to the
Court's Self-Help Center.
Fill out your forms neatly in blue or black ink.
You can also fill out your forms on line using the
Court’s self-help program.
How to file the OSC
Forms Step 1: Fill out the forms
If you have an existing case, no matter how old, use the
same case title and case number. The parent who was the
"Petitioner"
or "Respondent"
in the old case, will be called the same in the new
filing.
For instructions on how to fill out your forms, go to
the Court's
Self-Help Center.
After you fill out your forms, make 3 copies (for you,
the other party, and one extra). The original is for the
Court Step 2: File the forms
Take your completed forms to the Calendar/Clerk's office and ask
for a hearing date.
If you need Temporary Orders for custody and cannot wait
until your hearing, take your forms to the Document
Examiner. A Judge will decide within 24 hours. You may
have to give the other parent a copy of your papers
first before the Judge will make a decision.
When you file your forms, the clerk will ask you to pay
a fee. If you don’t have enough money to pay the fees,
ask the clerk for a fee waiver
packet. Fee waiver forms can also be accessed online -
see the Family Fees page on this website. Fill out the fee waiver forms, and turn your
forms in to the Document Examiner.
It will take 24 hours for the judge to decide if you pay
the fees or not.
The Clerk
will stamp your copies and certify your Temporary Orders
if you have any.
top of page
↑ Step 3: Serve the forms
You must serve
the other parent with endorsed/filed copies of the court forms at least
21 days before your hearing (or sooner if the Judge says so).
You must have someone personally serve the other parent with copies of
the forms you filled out and filed. This includes:
The person who serves the other parent must also serve a blank copy
of this form for the other parent to fill out:
Remember:
You cannot serve the papers yourself.
 An adult (over 18) who is not involved in your case or a professional
process server (you can find one in the telephone book) can
serve the papers for you. The person who serves the papers must
complete a Proof of Personal Service (Form
FL-330). The
proof of service form says he or she has delivered
the papers to the other party. If you need to serve
papers to someone in jail or prison in California, read
this flyer:
How to
Serve Someone in Custody. Step 4: File the
Proof of Service:
File the original Proof of Personal Service with the Clerk’s
Office as soon as possible and before your hearing. Bring a
filed copy of the proof of service to your hearing.
If you can't file the proof of service before the hearing,
bring the original plus 2 copies to your hearing.
Step 5: Go to your hearing:
Come to Court early. Look for your name on the court calendar.
The calendar is near the door outside the courtroom. Make sure
your case is listed on the calendar. If it is not listed, and
your papers say this is the right date and time, show your
papers to the deputy inside the courtroom or go to the
Calendar Clerk.
Remember: bring copies of all papers in your case, your copy
of the filed proof of service, and any other documents that
support your case. If you have any witnesses,
make sure they come, too.
Step 6: After the hearing:
After the hearing, any orders the Judge makes must be written
down on court forms. You can ask the Judge for a referral to
the Family Law Facilitator for help
with the forms.
top of page
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